Myth: Your patience for tomfoolery and innocent misunderstandings (which you will cause 95 percent of the time) will decrease exponentially

This myth involves a caveat and requires further explanation, lest you think I’m implying that with new motherhood + hormonal changes + work and/or 1,000 other duties, you shouldn’t be an impatient lunatic squeezing the juice out of every millisecond of your stupidly busy day.

What I mean to say is you will find yourself absolutely gaga with delight when faced with inconveniences that would have driven you nuts pre-baby – provided those inconveniences allow you two or three minutes of time to yourself (a-ha!)

Let me give you an example.

New Mom has forgotten to register for classes for the fall term (we won’t even get into why silly New Mom thought it would be a genius idea to pursue a Master’s the same year she got pregnant).

Instead of e-mailing or calling her university to find out its late registration hours, New Mom drops by the school at the start of the week, only to discover the woman in charge of registration is out sick. Four days later and you would think New Mom had learned her lesson and would call first, right?

Cut to ten subway stops later and here’s a brief outline of New Mom’s unpleasant conversation with the registration lady.

Registration Lady: Why didn’t you register online?

New Mom (feigning ignorance, or just plain ignorant?): Oh, I can do that?

Registration Lady: Yes, you should have received an e-mail about registration

New Mom (lying through her teeth): Oh, I’m not sure I received that…can I register now?

Registration Lady: I’m sorry, but it’s a holiday week and no one is here to help you..plus the system is down.

New Mom (suppressing giddiness): Ok, thank you.

Cut to New Mom practically kicking up her heels as she sashays out into the beautiful school garden to waste a little bit of time with her iPad.

As soon as you start feeling guilty about your time away from baby, remind yourself that you tried very hard to be productive.

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